


Jealousy

by SweetHottest13



Series: my first and last [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Doyoung being Doyoung, Fights, First Time, Jealousy, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung is Whipped, M/M, Renjun being Renjun, Secret Relationship, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:34:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24840886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetHottest13/pseuds/SweetHottest13
Summary: Doyoung never considered himself a jealous person , but something happen make him think about it again .
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Series: my first and last [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1904257
Comments: 2
Kudos: 49





	Jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> it's my first time writing hope you enjoy it and ignore my mistakes ~`

to say that Doyoung was tired is understandable , they just get home after performing in music bank , and they were extra hyper since they get their second win for the comeback , he was happy too , but for now all what he want to do for now to take a shower and lay in his bed scroll through his phone a little , he get to shower and was drying his hair when he get a message through his boyfriend congratulating him for the win , and no matter how many people congratulated him he feel the happiest now , he wanted to call him and talk to him , but he was on his way to his radio .

he was missing him so much since it has been a long time , since they saw each other properly his boyfriend has comeback last month and was busy all the time , and once he was done Doyoung start getting ready to promote , so they were keeping in touch through massages and calls , but even this wasn't much since they were dating in secret , and even if they meet when the other member were there too , they would act like they awkward and like they're not close .

so when he open the twitter to see what was happening , instead of searching his name he found himself finding typing his boyfriend name , like he do when he miss him so much , he smiled at the cute photos their fans were sharing , then he saw Renjun weibo updates post , he saw a few pictures his boyfriend told him he might post , after creating his own weibo account , he smiled and saved them even thought he already has some of them on his phone , he then read his interaction with wayv members and Chenle , he then saw a picture posted by their seventeen Jun sunbae , that he already knew that he was close to his boyfriend .

he thought about ignoring it , but his boyfriend looks great in the picture in his black suit , so he decide on saving it and cropping it latter ,leaving just Renjun and Chenle , he know that this is childish , but no one would know about this anyway , he saved the picture and went out to see what they were having for dinner , he was hungry and he assumed that now all the members most showered now .

he found them setting across the living room busy with their phones " what are we having for dinner ? " he asked .

" we thought about ordering Chinese food , what do you think ? "Taeyoung answered and he nodded .

" good , then order quickly we're starving " Johnny said.

" for get about food now " Haechan said while looking at his phone " we've more important matters now " .

" what are you talking about now ? " Yuta asked .

" I guess Renjun finally accepted Jun sunba-nim feelings " he said showing the same pictures Doyoung saw a while ago " I didn't knew why he didn't agree when he asked him last year " .

" what the hell are you talking about " Mark said " you need to think before talking " he said annoyed .

" calm down Markie " Jaehyun said " Haechan explain your words baby " .

" simple , Jun sunbae asked Renjun out on a date last year , but my idiot friend rejected him saying that he just want to stay friends , but I knew it he was hiding something " .

" Haechan , you just said he rejected him " Taeyoung said " beside this picture prove nothing , even Chenle there " he added not wanting to talk about the subject .

" you should know what to say and what not " Mark said unimpressed " I'm sure Renjun won't be happy if you kept spread this rumor about him " .

" he can't deny it now ! I have prove " Haechan argued .

" kids stop this let's not fight " Johnny said trying to calm them down .

" whatever , you just annoyed that he didn't tell you that someone confessed to him " Haechan said turning away .

" do you think I'm childish like you ? " Mark replied , but he sounded upset .

" calm down Mark , I'm sure Renjunnie would have told you if this was important " Jungwoo said " Haechan why are you saying that they're dating , when you just said that

Renjun rejected him first ? " .

" maybe cause he start using his brain on something not related to space or Disney movies , and stopped being blind about people in real life " Haechan said " like I told him

then and I would say this again , Jun sunbae gonna be the best boyfriend , he handsome , tall , Chinese , talented at more than thing , dancing , acting singing and above of that

he really like Renjun and always showed it " .

" why don't you date him if you think he's this great then ? " Doyoung said louder than he wanted , but Haechan really need to know when to shut up .

" I would if he like me , but he love Renjun " Haechan explained " each time we promote together he come to see him , you saw him a few times too " he said pointing at Mark "

not to mention that he always text him when he in China asking if he needed anything " .

" he came to see him and Chenle , he close to Kun Hyung too " Mark answered " and he wasn't alone when he come , he just being nice when he ask if he needed anything ,

something you don't understand "

" whatever you want to believe , but if he still single , I'll make sure that Renjun would be dating him " Haechan answered firmly

" Haechan sweetie you better stay of people personal issue " Johnny said " or don't come crying later that Renjun is mad at you " .

" I would ask for Chenle help then , he know the most and he Renjun won't got mad at him " Haechan said knowing very well that what Johnny said is right .

" try to do that and I'll make sure that everyone mad at you " Doyoung said not trying to hide his anger .

" whoa , calm down Hyung " Jaehyun said surprised with Doyoung reaction .

" don't talk to me , talk to this spoiled kid , instead of just setting here listening to his shits " .

" guys Renjun is not marrying him , don't exaggerate " Taeil said " and even if he was it his own choice after all , we can't decide for him let's just calm down " .

Doyoung insisted " he's not dating him or anyone else" .

" calm down Doyoung , I'm sure Renjun won't do something carelessly " Taeyoung said trying to finish the unnecessary argument.

" beside , to be honest we have no right to decide for him " Johnny said " if he like someone I'm sure he won't come and ask for our permission " he added not thinking about how he angering Doyoung more .

" specially you Doyoung Hyung , I doubt that you and Renjun could manage a conversation " Jungwoo spoke " specially about love and life " he added shaking his head

unimpressed with the thought .

" really ? why is that ? " Doyoung asked.

" come on Doyoung I thought you're the smart one here " Yuta said and Taeyoung wanted to stop him " you and Renjun just don't match , I don't want to imagine you even as

friends "he closed his eyes tightly to explain himself .

" what Yuta mean is that both of you has a similar personality , it's like putting oil on fire … you would fight a lot for sure " Taeil tried to use nice words of their thoughts .

" I didn't knew that all of you study psychology to analyze , each other personality , stop acting like you know me better than myself " Doyoung said frowning .

" we don't know you better than yourself , but we know you enough about you and Renjun , to already assume that he could drive you crazy easily " Jaehyun spoke this time .

" are you serious ? if you think that you can't handle me , then you should know that I'm nice in comparison with Renjun " Haechan spoke extra proudly for someone talking

about someone else " he won't just drive you crazy , he would reply for everything you say , and his Korean is good enough to use the annoying words , you would just be

speechless " .

" trust him Hyung , Haechan talking from experience " Mark said and everyone start laughing except Doyoung and Haechan who pushed Mark " hey , that's true though about

you " .

" you're not the one to say that " Doyoung heard Haechan replying while walking to his room , he close the door strongly not wanting to hear Mark replying to the latter , and as

a sign that he want to stay alone .

***************************

Honestly Doyoung don't care about his members opinion , specially since they know nothing about his relationship and Renjun , even if it hurts that they think of them like this

when it's not true .

But that's not what bothering him now not that , why his boyfriend didn't tell him about someone asking him out , and he need to find out like this , he was actually hurt , he

already had to deal with and compete with their members , who are so touchy and affectionate with his boyfriends , but he can handle this much at least it's a part from their

job .

But Wen Junhui is different he's a strong competitor with how Haechan describe him , not that he doesn't know that he is close with his boyfriend , he know him as same age

idol and the fact that he has feelings to his boyfriend make him feeling uneasy .

He closed his eyes and lied down with light off , trying to calm down a little and not overthink , cause this would just lead him to headache , and he don't want to go through

this alone , he would set and talk with his boyfriend , who he still missing so much .

He heard knocking at the door after a while , he wanted to ignore it knowing that they would leave him if he did , but he didn't want to worry his members more , he already did

a miss outside a while ago .

" come in " he answered without moving from his spot .

" can I torn the lights on ? " he heard Mark asking then he did without waiting for his answer , he looked at him carrying food tray " we already ate , you should eat too " .

He take it from his hands and put it on the nightstand " you can set " he said and Mark didn’t hesitate to do .

Mark take his phone out and called someone and put it on speaker , the ringtone was familiar and Doyoung wanted to look away , but he was lucky when he heard the voicemail

instead .

" oh ? why he's not answering ? " Mark asked worried .

" what are you doing here Mark " Doyoung tried his best to not sound bothered .

" I wanted to , am I not allowed to ? " he asked pouting and Doyoung rolled his eyes , he wanted to say something but he was just cut off with Mark phone start ringing again "

oh , Renjunnie is calling back " he said exited and answered the phone immediately putting it on speaker again " hey , why you didn't answer my first call ? " he asked with a pout .

" hello to you too Hyung , I was at the bathroom , I was taking a shower after I just get home " Doyoung can hear him rolling his eyes while answering " why something

happened ? ".

" oh , sorry I forget " Mark sounded apologetic " what are you doing now ? are you tired ? should I hang up ? " .

" calm down Hyung I'm fine , I don't sleep this early " Renjun said " I just get in my room to rest , we might order food later or something , Jaemin still can't decide yet so we left

him alone in the kitchen " .

" oh , but it's already late you should've ate before " Mark said .

" don't tell me that , they should've decide while I'm on my way , but you know Jaemin and Jisung like to argue , and Jeno can't deal with them …" Renjun paused .

" so he just left them for you to deal with " Mark ended the sentence .

" yeah , but I'm sure that you didn't call to ask about our food schedule " he said and Doyoung struggled to hold his laugh " so what's wrong ? ".

Mark shifted on his spot for being caught fast , looking at Doyoung for help who just shrugged " I don't want to bother you … " Doyoung want to hit Mark .

" then you wouldn't called if you didn't want to bother me " Renjun said " just tell me I feel it that you're upset , just spill " he added firmly .

" oh, why I can't hide anything from you ? "Mark said " promise me you won't get mad " .

" then don't taste my patience nerve just speak " Renjun didn't try to hide his annoyance .

" ok , Haechan said something today about you and it's the first time for me to hear it , and I would want to know if it's true or not ? " .

" Hyung I'm not a mind reader and Haechan say a lot of things , and honestly I don't know what you're talking about now " Renjun answered .

" about Jun Hyung asking you out last year " Mark said and Doyoung heartbeat fasten waiting for the answer , Renjun said nothing and remained silent for a while " Renjun ,I'm sorry , are you mad ? I shouldn't asked … " Mark said panicked.

" Hyung calm down I'm not mad " Renjun paused sighing and Doyoung heart dropped waiting for him to speak " Lee Haechan really need to learn to think before speaking " .

" don't worry Doyoung Hyung scolded him enough " Mark said and Doyoung looked away , not wanting to look at the latter cause he know that he overreacted .

" oh ? why did he spoke in front Hyung too ? " Renjun didn't sound impressed with the information , and it's not hard for Doyoung to imagine him biting his lip .

" actually he spoke in front of everyone , all the Hyungs were there and Doyoung Hyung didn't like what he said at all " Doyoung want to hit Mark for saying so much , but

knowing the younger he would make a big noise , he decided against it .

" and does he remember to tell you that I rejected your Jun Hyung? " Renjun said .

" yeah he said " Mark said disappointed " so it's true after all , why you didn't tell me then ? " he was pouting for real now , and Doyoung face palmed , this all what Mark

thinking about , why Renjun told Haechan not him ! Great .

" there's nothing to tell you Hyung " Renjun said and sighed " I didn't even told him in the first place , Chenle found out through Minghao and you know if Chenle no something

it won't be a secret anymore " Renjun explained how he didn't want to tell anyone ,to not embarrasses Junhui or hurt him .

" still you could have told me at least " Mark said disappointed " you used to ask for my opinion over everything " .

" I still do Hyung just when it's about me " Renjun said taking a deep breath " this someone else personal issue " he said " beside we didn't have time back then to talk , I was

busy with the comeback , and you were busy debuting for who know which time " he added .

Mark remained silent looking guilty , pleading Doyoung to help him " sorry , I just don't want you to stop tell me everything , I'll be always for you " he sounded really honest .

" don't worry about that Hyung I'll keep bothering you forever " Renjun said teasing " specially if you let the Hyungs spoil Haechan more , even Jisung behave better than him " .

Doyoung nodded and Mark sighed knowing that Renjun was saying the truth , the Hyungs spoil Haechan a lot , and he cross the line a lot , and it could be different with the

dreams members since they're in the same age , Mark understand that too , and knowing Renjun he's the one who scold him the most , even though they're close .

" don't worry me and Doyoung Hyung share the same opinion with you " he said and Doyoung held his breath , it's the second time Mark talked about him to Renjun tonight .

" whatever that's your problem guy's , I know how to control him , I'm just talking about when I'm not around " .

Renjun was saying the truth Haechan complained a lot to Doyoung that Renjun and he fought a lot , and Doyoung heard a lot of stories about his boyfriend from Haechan .

" you're no telling him about the call right ? " Mark asked .

" I want but I won't don't worry " Renjun answered " but if he tried to tease me I won’t promise to send him back in one piece " .

" if he did then don't send him back " Mark said smiling .

" are you getting riding of him and throwing him on us ? no thanks we'll pass " Renjun respond quickly .

" you should go to rest " Mark said " and you can always tell me everything " he added .

" I know, you too Hyung " Renjun said making Mark happy " good night Hyung " .

" good night " Mark said and hung up " I'm not listening to Haechan again " he said sighing in relief .

Doyoung rolled his eyes " but he was telling the truth this time though " he said still annoyed and he was trying to hide this " why you called him here though ? " he asked

curious .

"Haechan problem won't be solved as long as Johnny Hyung keep spoiling him " Mark said with eye roll " and I thought you looked worried so I would help you to find the truth "

he added proudly .

" thank you so much " he said trying to not smile , he could easily ask Renjun and know this , but Mark think they're the awkward due " you're a good Hyung and person " he

said ruffling Mark hair .

" I know " Mark said smiling with flush " I'm going we need to be up tomorrow eat and sleep " Mark said and Jumped of the bed " goodnight Hyung " he said and walked out .

The moment as Doyoung was alone he closed his eyes and said lied down, why he has to find out about something like this from others ? why didn't his boyfriend tell him ? and

why still feeling jealous , even if he heard with his ears that it meant nothing ? .

He take his phone staring at it wanting something to happen but not knowing exactly , then he received a massage from his boyfriend .

**My baby ~**

Unless you're sleeping I won't forgive you for not wishing me a good night

**Me**

I just lied down on my bed ~

It wasn't a complete lie

**My baby~**

Are you mad at me ?

Doyoung stared at the massage thinking about the good words to write

**Me**

I don't know honestly ?

  
  
He sent it and regretted when Renjun didn't respond for a whole minute , then he just glare at his phone , until it showed that the later was typing , he bit his fingers waiting

**My baby~**

There's no need to Hyung

I don't know what Haechan said , but I'm your boyfriend and I say the truth when I say I love you …

I hope you believe that

**Me**

Then why you didn't tell me ?

Doyoung hit himself once the massage was sent , he know he hurt the younger , and was about to send an apology when he saw that Renjun was typing , he bit his nails waiting

for the response .

**My baby ~**

I'm not answering you here …

I think it's better to wait for the weekend and talk face to face

Go to sleep you need to be up early

Goodnight

Just like this Doyoung saw that the younger wasn't online anymore , and to be honest he should be thankful that he was willing to talk to him , why did he did that ? he should

just waited for the weekend to meet and talk .

Doyoung throw his phone away and closed his eyes trying to sleep , cause he really needed to wake up early tomorrow they've a music show to attend after all .

***********************

Doyoung stared at last night conversation between him and Renjun , trying to think about the right words to write , it had been fifteen hours and he didn't hear nothing from

the younger , not like he think that he deserve to .

But it's not his fault that he used to get a congratulation massage from his boyfriend each time they get a prize , he would think that he busy or he didn't know yet , and except to get one latter , but he heard Haechan talking with him on their way to the dorm .

It has been five days since the last time he heard something from Renjun , he even start listening to his radio everyday cause he missed his voice , even when his Chinese is not

the best , he was exited that today live was viewable , he was pleased that normally Renjun do Vlive after the viewable radio .

He was waiting to get the notification from their channel , but he get worried and went to scroll through the Twitter while waiting , then he saw the fans talking that Renjun

already said that today he won't do a Vlive .

Doyoung felt like being punished , the latter knew that he always watch him doing Vlive , specially if they didn’t meet for a while , it can't be compared with meeting him in

person , but when he miss him so much , this is the best solution .

And now he was sad and helpless not knowing what to do , thinking about this weekend they won't be able to meet , cause there's Haechan birthday on Saturday , and no way

he can escape that , and Renjun practicing in Sunday which mean that they need to wait for extra week .

Knowing that he won't get anything unless they meet and talk , Doyoung tried his best to busy himself with work and practicing , he doesn't feel like moving most of the time ,

but he leave his room when he doesn't have schedule , to hear from Haechan about his boyfriend .

He was lucky today when he walked out of the bathroom , and heard him talking on the phone " are you sure Renjun is coming with you ? he won't match your strength though "

he heard him saying " I wish I can but someone need to stay with Jisung … hey I know how to ride a bike ! … take care of Renjun and don't lose him … bye " .

" who was that ? " Doyoung asked startling the younger .

" Hyung ! you could've warned me " Haechan whined dramatically and Doyoung waved him " this Jeno he said he's going to ride bike with Renjun and Jaemin , and they leaving

Jisung with me , can you believe that ? " he shake his head .

" leaving Jisung with you ? what does that mean ? " Doyoung asked confused .

" Jisung can't ride the bike well , so he's staying in the dorm and I'm going to keep him company " Haechan explained .

" yeah good for you " Doyoung said " I think he would be the one watching you " he added and stepped back before he the younger could hit him .

He leaned against the door and closed his eyes , never he thought he would need someone else to hear about his boyfriend , at least not after they get together , more than a

year ago and now he feel lonely more than ever .

*******************************

Renjun watched Jeno and Jaemin riding their bicycles far while , he was riding slowly letting the wind hit his face , he came to clear his mind and enjoy the nice weather , and

needed anything to busy himself with to not think about his and Doyoung last conversation .

He knew the latter would be mad when he found out about what happened last year , but he didn't except him to say those words , it was unfair how he doubted him and his

feeling , and if Renjun didn't love him he won't even want to clear things .

But Doyoung was lucky cause the first thing Renjun when he got to the dorm , is texting him asking to meet tomorrow , he was feeling bad for leaving Jaemin and Jeno behind ,

but not like he can catch up with them , so he just sent them massage and get to cook for them until they're back .

He went to check what they have in the kitchen and heard Haechan and Jisung arguing like always , he decided to check on them before he start " what are you two fighting over

again ? " he asked from the door .

" Hyung when did you get back ? " Jisung asked trying to push Haechan of him .

" just now " Renjun answered the and went to free the youngest who thanked him " but Jeno and Jaemin still working out " he added .

" oh and they let you come back here alone ? this so reckless " Haechan said jumping to cling to Renjun " you should have could me to pick you " he added with a smirk .

" do you want to die ? " Renjun threated him while choking him .

" he has been bothering me the moment he got here " Jisung said pouting " I don't even know why he's here " .

" hey ! I came to watch you " Haechan said and tried to smack Jisung head but the younger avoided him .

" I was the one who watching you though " he said in a low voice .

" enough kids " Renjun said and looked at Haechan " are you staying for dinner ? " he asked him .

" yeah , I'm staying the night " .

" good , then don't bother Jisung and behave while I'm cooking " Renjun and walked out to the Kitchen .

He start taking what he needed and putting them on the table , when he saw Haechan following him in the Kitchen , he gave him a look and the latter raised his hands .

" I said nothing " he said .

" I can hear you thinking and this is not good sign " Renjun said without looking at him " just spill it " .

" ok but don't get mad " Renjun nodded putting the vegetables in a bowl so he could wash them " about you and Jun sunbae … I mean you too are not together right ? " Haechan

asked in a low voice unsure .

" if I say I'm not would you stop talking about it ? " Haechan looked away knowing that Renjun knew that he told the Hyungs .

" Mark told you right ? I mean your picture was everywhere … "

" Haechan nothing give you the right to talk about mine or anyone else personal life " Renjun cut him saying " look I'm not mad at you cause I know that you didn't mean any harm, but at least make sure before talk next time , I have a hard time to explain the situation to Mark Hyung " .

" ok , but do you still think that he still like you ? " Haechan asked and Renjun didn't stop to look at him .

" I don't know I'm not a feeling reader " he answered " I don't even see him that often but my answer still the same , I still see him as a friend and brother "

" we're friends but I don't understand your taste in men , one of the most handsome people like you , and you see him as a friend and brother good for you " Haechan clapped

his hands .

" if you like him so much I can talk with him for you " he said pouring tice in the rice machine .

" I wish but he like you not me " Haechan said " unless you have someone else in your heart ? " he asked with a smirk .

" why don't you worry about your feelings rather than mine ? " he said pushing Haechan out of his way " why don't you go and play with Jisung if you won't help ? ".

" but we're talking … "

" I have nothing to say just go " Renjun was now getting mad a little , he would want to tell Haechan and his members about his and Doyoung relationship , but they both

agreed it would be better to hide it , when they stat dating after promoting Nct 2018 album .

He still remember how Doyoung was acting careful around him , like he would saw him being savage with the other members ,but he became soft when they're alone , he still

remember how much he teased him after their first kiss .It was after a few months after they start dating , didn't get to spend a lot of time together actually , but it was end of

the year festivals period , and they were performing in the same day and place , even if they barely talked in front of the other members , but it was enough that they could

sneak a few minutes to speck alone .

He still remember the last day of the year , how he was nervous with his nose bleeding , even before he went the stage , so their manager rushed to take them to the dorm

,specially since they were all except Mark minors and can't go back on the stage .

But the manager thought it would be better if he take him to the hospital to check his nose , it was bleeding a lot lately and Haechan was already in hiatus due an injury , so it

would be better if they didn't lose another vocal .

He didn't argue and went wanting to make sure that nothing was wrong , and thanks it didn't take long cause he was dead tired , and his phone kept ringing since it was new

year eve , that he needed to put it on silent , he finished the checking up and was heading back to the dorms after two hours .

He walked in carefully in case the members were sleeping , but he was surprised to see their living room fill with more than the other five dream members , then he

remembered that the Hyungs said that they would spent Christmas together since they're not going back home , but he forget with everything happened today from his

nosebleed on the stage , to Mark last stage to going to the hospital .

But the room was weirdly quiet that he thought he might be dreaming , until Jaemin jumped next him shaking him " Injunnie are you alright ? what did the doctor said ? " he

asked worried .

Renjun wanted to answer but someone spoke before him " Jaemin-ah don't shake him like that " he heard Doyoung saying in a worried tone and felt Jaemin stopping shaking him , he hugged him and apologized .

" it's ok I'm fine no need to worry " Renjun said his voice was low so he cleared his throat " like for real I went to the doctor and did a lot of annoying checkups , so no need to

worry " he added when they were still looking at him concerned .

" you scared us though " Mark said and came to hug him .

" don't believe him he just said that he thought you were crying cause he was graduating , that why your voice was shaking while performing " Chenle said from the back " he

even was feeling guilty " he added and Mark tried to hide behind Johnny embarrassed .

" why I would cry for your last stage with us ? " Renjun asked teasingly " I mean it’s not that you're going anywhere , you're living in the upper floor , and we go to the same

company " Renjun couldn't hold his laughter " we even have each other phone numbers , unless you don't want to talk to us anymore " he added seriously .

" what ? of course I want " Mark said defending himself quickly , making everyone in the room laughing at him and Johnny ruffling his hair .

" oh my god Hyung , you're so cute " Jisung said making everyone laugh more .

" whatever guys just please don't tell Haechan too when he comeback " Mark said pretended to sulk .

They sat and chatted while Renjun went to change his shirt , that still has a few blood spots on it , he put more comfortable clothes and checked his phone ,and replied his

parents massages first , then he saw a new massage from Doyoung .

**Doyounggie Hyung ~**

Can we meet tomorrow ?

**Injunnie** ~

I have nothing to do but I'll text you

**Doyounggie Hyung ~**

Ok

Take care and be careful

Call me if something happen

**Injunnie** ~

Don't worry I'm fine

**Doyounggie Hyung ~**

I'll see tomorrow

Renjun didn't reply to the latest text and went out , not wanting to be rude cause he take enough time for changing , and Doyoung gave him a look for not replying but he

ignored him and looked at Jaehyun who has half sleep Chenle laying his head on his thigh .

" Chenle go to your bed if you're sleepy " he said and the younger opened his eyes .

" let him be he doesn't bother me " Jaehyun said pulling the younger again when he tried to set up " he's so cute " he added with a smile and Renjun rolled his eyes .

" I'm not worried if he bothering you , cause he would bother us if he fall sleep here , and we didn't carry him to his room " he answered " believe me he won't be cute then " .

" I'm staying in Jeno Hyung room then " Chenle said getting on his legs " Jisung come on " he said and the youngest followed .

" wow , how you do that ? " Mark asked amazed " they never listen to me from the first time before " .

" tell Taeyoung Hyung too he need learn how to make one of us listen to him from the first time " Doyoung said and everyone laugh .

" sorry I can't share my secrets " Renjun said and asked Jaemin if there's more tea , and the latter jumped to bring him a cup " I plan on using it now that Mark Hyung graduated

, I want to be the new leader " .

" I'm in I vote for leader Renjun " Jaemin said coming back with a cup of tea .

" I'm in too " Jeno said " I agree with what Injunnie say " he said putting his arm around Renjun shoulder .

" Wow Mark that was faster than I thought " Yuta said " it hadn't been a full day and they're turning their back on you already " he added shaking his head .

" this why I always say there's no loyalty to the bad leaders " Doyoung said looking at Taeyoung who pushed him .

" it's ok I trust Renjun " mark said and Renjun give him a high five .

" don't worry Hyung I was joking Hyung " Renjun said " I won’t take your precious position from you , my dreams are bigger than leading those kids " .

" should I feel bad for Taeyoung too ? he is the leader of the whole unit " Taeil said .

" no Taeyoung dream has always been to be a leader , of the most handsome and talented kids in the world " Johnny said .

" so he could learn from them something " Doyoung said again and Taeyoung jumped to hit him , they wrestled a little until Yuta stopped between them .

" enough kids we need to go to our dorm , and the kids need to sleep too " he said and both of them stopped but glared at each other .

" shouldn't we stop calling them kids though ? " Jaehyun asked " they're adult since today " he added .

" they still babies though look at them " Taeil commented " beside our age gab won't change , they grow up we grow up too "

  
" Hyung that's not fun to keep talking about age , we still have a life a head of us " Jeno said .

" we talk about this other time , not after midnight in a new year eve , we need to leave now " Taeyoung said standing up " the kids need to rest to " .

**************************************************************

The next day when Renjun texted Doyoung to meet up on the rooftop of their building , after making sure that Jisung was busy playing with Jeno and Chenle so he won't follow

him , not like he don't like the younger company , but their meetings were supposed to be secretive .

He was surprised that Doyoung was already there , and the moment he spotted him , he walked toward him hugging him tightly " finally " he said holding Renjun as close as he

could .

" Hyung I need to breath " said Renjun after a few minutes , the hug was lasting more than he excepted " we just saw each other yesterday " he said when Doyoung decided to

let him go .

" that not count when we act like we barely know each other " Doyoung said leaning to kiss Renjun cheeks " beside I was really worried yesterday when Mark said that the

manager took you to the hospital " he added trying to avoid Renjun eyes.

" I'm fine no need to worry " Renjun said and hold Doyoung hands " but it's good that we meet " he added with a smile .

Doyoung smiled while looking at him through the night light , there was no stars on the Seoul sky , but he would swear that there's shining stars in Renjun eyes , he stepped

closer to enjoy the view more .

Everything happened quickly suddenly they were closer than ever , and Renjun licked his lips innocently , then Doyoung leaned in to kiss him , it wasn't even a kiss a quick peck

on the lips and Doyoung pulled back quickly terrified .

" what was that Hyung ? " Renjun asked still looking at him with those beautiful eyes .

" sorry I just … I really didn't know … " Doyoung groaned covering his face " this must be the worst first kiss ever you might get " .

" if you want to give me a kiss then give me a real one " Renjun said and Doyoung couldn't believe what he was hearing " I'm not fifteen years old " .

They remained in the same position for a while , then Doyoung leaned on again kissing for real , they kissed slowly and softly taking their time tasting each other , Renjun put

his hands on Doyoung shoulders feeling how he was trembling , and gave them a firm squeeze and let them there .

Doyoung relaxed and found himself brushing his finger into Renjun hair , they kept kissing until they are out of breath , Doyoung pulled back flushing but he didn't care cause

he saw the same color on Renjun cheeks , and he couldn't help resting his head against his forehead and closing his eyes .

Their hands were still in the same position , and when he opened his eyes again and saw Renjun red lips , he couldn't help with wanting to kiss him again and again .

" stop thinking so much " Renjun said in a low voice " I love our first kiss " he said smiling and Doyoung smiled too .

" I'm sorry if I surprised you … I don't want you to think that I took advantage of you " Doyoung start mumbling again , and Renjun pulled back with a frown on his face .

" Hyung you didn't take advantage of me " Renjun said annoyed " I wanted this as much as you did , and if you want me be honest I think we take a lot of unnecessary waiting

time " .

" hey ! you just become adult yesterday " Doyoung said pulling him close again .

" Hyung and do you think I didn't have a heart before ? " Renjun asked making him confused " you're not my first kiss you know , I'm not saying that I had many and this is not

the case , cause I'm sure that I'm not your first too, but I don't want to put our age gab in the way of our relationship , there's already a lot of things … "

Doyoung just stood looking at Renjun shifting nervously on his place , he knew it wasn't easy to say such thing " why you're so smart ? " he asked and hugged the younger again

.

" I know I'm but this not the case " Renjun complimented himself " the case is you think so much and hold yourself , if there's something you want us to do just let's talk , it's

not hard and I'm not mind reader I can't predict always what you want " .

" ok ~ I'll try my best to do better " Doyoung said and Renjun hit him .

***********************

Renjun was on his way to Gongmyung apartment where they start meeting , to have more privacy for themselves , with no need to worry of getting caught or someone seeing

them , he was carrying the present he bought for his birthday which was two weeks ago .

If he and Doyoung didn't fought , he might gave it to him earlier cause he knew that the latter celebrated his brother birthday with their parents , but they didn't talk properly

from a while but Renjun already bought the present beforehand , and Gongmyung always was nice to him when they meet .

He knocked the door even though he know the password to go in , but he still doesn't like prefer using it since it's not Doyoung house , even of Gongmyung said it's ok , but he

didn't feel like using it especially when he and Doyoung in a fight .

" oh hi Renjun " Gongmyung greeted him with a bright smile , opening the door to let him walk in " how have you been ? " he asked him while following to the living room ,

Renjun always feel bad that he leave his apartment for them ,even if he himself doesn't spend a lot of time on it , just when he has schedule far from their house , and there's a

room for Doyoung but still .

" I'm fine Hyung " he answered still standing " how about you ? " .

" I'm great now that I saw you " he said cheerfully and Renjun couldn't help his smile " how is Doyoung with you ? tell me if he bother you I'll teach him a lesson for you " .

" hey I'm your brother you're supposed to take my side " Doyoung said coming from his room as soon as heh heard Renjun voice, he stood looking at them then moved closer wanting to hug the younger , but he stopped while looking at his face " where is your mask ? "he asked with a frown .

" let him breath he just take it off " Gongmyung answered him Doyoung eyed him then stepped closer to hug him , but Renjun avoided him stepping away .

" I didn't wash my hands yet " he explained but Doyoung knew that this isn't the only reason but he said nothing " Gongmyung Hyung wait me I have something for you " .

" what did you do ? " Gongmyung asked in a low voice as soon as soon went to wash his hands .

" I did nothing " Doyoung answered annoyed but his brother shake his head not believing him " stop this he's my boyfriend not yours " .

" I hope you like it " Renjun came and take a small box out of his bag " happy birthday Hyung " .

" why I didn't knew about the present ? " Doyoung asked .

" I didn't knew I need to report everything I do to you " Renjun answered glaring .

" thanks Renjun I love it " he said and hugged the younger , wearing his new sunglasses " how I look ? "

" like always " " handsome " both Doyoung and Renjun said in the same time .

" you should learn from your boyfriend brother " Gongmyung said disappointed " thanks again Renjun , I'll leave now if this idiot bother you, just tell me " .

Renjun sat down when the door closed and Doyoung said nothing " why I didn't get anything for my birthday too ? "Doyoung asked crossing his arms he knew he was childish ,

but he was trying to avoid the main subject .

" I think I gave you something important than present in your birthday " Doyoung raised his eyebrow then , he figured what Renjun was talking about and said nothing , while

the younger smirked .

When they celebrated Doyoung birthday a week earlier , since both of them were busy at the real day ,and not like they would be able to escape their members if they weren't .

It was Renjun idea he wanted to make it special for the latter , and he could say that they have been together for enough time now , so after they ate the cake and Doyoung

make his wish .

He said he has a wish too and asked the latter to move on their relationship , which Doyoung understand first us breaking up , but when he got it he looked at the younger

lovingly and leaned to kiss him .

kissing is familiar, they hardly get time to meet lately , but when they do they spend most of their time kissing , Renjun is confident when he slips his tongue past Doyoung’s

parted lips , he prefers to leave things up to Doyoung most of the time though, and happily follows his lead when Doyoung backs them further into his room to stand in front of

the bed.

Doyoung tugs gently at the neck of Renjun sweater , and runs a hand down his front to slip it under fabric, and onto skin and caresses his fingers over Doyoung’s flat stomach.

“Off,” he mumbles, almost a question and Renjun grips the hem of his sweater with both hands and pulls it up and over his head.

  
He didn’t think being half-naked while kissing Doyoung would amount to such a different experience, but he already feeling something wired on his stomach but not in a bad

way .

“Stop it,” Renjun murmurs when Doyoung leans back to look him over a third time and pulls him into a deep kiss , to distract him from his naked chest.

“I’m just admiring you,” Doyoung mumbles into his mouth and runs a palm down the middle of Renjun chest to his waistline , it actually pained him how the younger was really

tiny and thin , but he know this was something sensitive to the younger , and seeing him like this he couldn't help thinking that he's so lucky .

“There’s not a lot to admire,” Renjun laughs shyly and Doyoung reels back, preventing him from kissing him, and lightly slaps his shoulder.

“Hey! That’s for me to decide,” he says with a pout and leans his cheek on Renjun chest , listening to his rapidly heartbeat .

“And you clearly have no idea how attracted I am to your everything ” he said in a husky voice .

Renjun laughs wryly and strokes his palms over Doyoung back , the tips of his fingers just barely digging in his shirt .

“you're cheesy ” he says and tilts his head when Doyoung lays a kiss against his throat, he presses a couple more kisses in a line up Renjun neck and bites gently on his

earlobe.

“Mhm, I'm dating the most beautiful boyfriend in the world, I'm allowed to be cheesy as much I want " he wraps his arms tightly around Renjun back and burrows his face into his shoulder “and I can't get enough of you ”he says sweetly.

Renjun normally was immune to hearing cheesy things, but when he is hearing his Hyung the words seem to come habitually “ I love you,” he whispers into Doyoung’s shoulder without even realizing , and Doyoung pulls him a little bit closer and whispers the same words into his ear, Renjun tugs Doyoung's hoodie until he take it off “An eye for an eye ” Renjun says and pokes him in the cheek , Doyoung chases after his finger and tries to bite him, settling for a nose nuzzle when Renjun hides his hands behind his back.

“A shirt for a shirt more like it” Doyoung laughs and Renjun protest , shaking his head minutely as the latter continues to laugh at his own joke.

Doyoung shuts up eventually pulling them flush together and kissing him, slipping his tongue past Renjun's parted lips , he cups Renjun cheeks in his palms and lifts him

slightly on his toes to match their heights.

Renjun moans into his mouth tangling his fingers in the elder’s hair, mussing it up while Doyoung swipes his tongue everywhere inside his mouth, Doyoung move them around until he can feel the bed press into the back of his thighs , and then he falls backwards, butt landing right on the edge and head flopping hard into the mattress, pulling the younger to his lap who looked at him a little surprised ,he wanted to kiss him but Renjun moved so he kissed his cheek instead , making the younger giggle .

“You’re a tease aren’t you ? " he murmurs, still holding Renjun on his arms being under such close scrutiny has Renjun ears burning, and he is itching to cover himself, but he keeps his arms still at Doyoung sides .

“I don’t know, am I ?” he laughs a little, but it’s an honest answer, he doesn’t know if this considered teasing or not, he figures they'll find out by the end of the night.

Doyoung adjusted his position with Renjun on his lap ,he brushes his fingers over and over through Renjun's hair , who avoided looking at the older causing him to stop ," it's ok if you don't want to continue " Doyoung answered seeing the younger feeling uneasy " I don't want to make you uncomfortable " he added kissing Renjun forehead.

“I’m just nervous,” he whispers.

Doyoung tilts Renjun's head up with fingers under his chin , and smiles softly when their eyes meet “It’s okay” he whispers and leans in until their lips are barely brushing “I’m

nervous too ” Doyoung admitted even if he was older , and with more experience ,but the most important thing is to make Renjun enjoy this .

They kiss then, soft and close-lipped, more for comfort than any other intent, and Renjun wraps his arms around Doyoung’s neck again, like he always does when he needs a

little reassuring , or when he feel upset and want to be close to the older, they kiss until their bodies heat up again and their hands grow desperate on each other’s bodies and their tongues are dancing back and forth between their mouths, Renjun is a warm weight on top of him when , almost like there's nothing ,he lays down against his chest and frames his head with his forearms , Doyoung smiles into the kiss and wraps his arms tightly around the younger’s waist , then he start kissing his neck and collarbone .

There is no need to ask each other not to leave no marks, or else they would be in a big trouble , so he is gentle as he kisses and licks and sometimes sucks on the skin of Renjun's neck and across his throat, he sucks lightly on his prominent Adam’s apple and then licks a slow path up the length of his throat and over his chin and into his mouth, Doyoung moved them around until Renjun lies down fully , and he hovered over him , until their hips touch and their chests press close together, while Renjun kisses him, Doyoung threads his fingers through the empty belt loops on his jeans and holds him still as he bucks his hips into him and starts a grinding motion between their crotches.

Renjun gasps wetly and grips the sheets of the bed in one fist and Doyoung’s hair in the other " Hyung .." he panted , holding his breath as Doyoung put more power into his thrusts, grinding their crotches together in the most tantalizing way.

They then made an eye contact , and start removing the rest of their clothes , and Doyoung tried not to chuckle when Renjun tried to hide himself , while he was taking his own

pants off " no need to be shy baby " he said excepting a smack or a kick , knowing the younger not a big fan of this things.

But instead Renjun give him a look " did you mean it ? " he asked in a red face .

" what ? of course I 'm not here to judge you , beside – "

“You called me baby,” Renjun cut him , lips pressed together in a tight-lipped smile .

“Is it bad ?” Doyoung asks nervously because he can't read the younger easily always .

“Nuh-unh,” Renjun shakes his head and runs his fingers through the hair at the back of Doyoung’s head ,leaning in so they almost kiss, he whispers against Doyoung’s lips “say it again cause I don't it to be onetime thing ” .

“Baby,” Doyoung mumbles and wraps his arms around Renjun waist as he falls slowly back on the bed, pulling Renjun over him , “Mmm, baby,” he moans as he wraps his left leg over Renjun's hip , and tips them over so they’re lying on their sides and pressed together their mouths find each other then, tongues circling and gliding together and teeth biting and pulling gently on lips as they make out and rut slowly against each other.

" Hyung .. " Renjun moaned

“don't to call me that now.” Doyoung paused to say.

Renjun raised his eyebrow Doyoung never let him call him by his name alone , nor him or anyone else , then he realized that it would be wired to call him that latter , so he smiled and slinks his arms around Doyoung’s waist and says in a teasing voice, “okay, Dongyoung ”

“Brat,” Doyoung whispers around a breathy laugh and Renjun smile only grows, moaning when Doyoung strokes his palms over his hips to his butt.

“Can I ? ” Doyoung whispers and squeeze his cheeks gently in his palms.

Renjun nods and leans slowly backwards until he can stretch out on the bed " yeah " he said in a low voice .

“Okay,” Doyoung breathes, nodding his head slowly, “let me just get the stuff.”

He slides off the bed and rummages quickly through the nightstand ,for the lube and condoms, he bought them after the Christmas party and has been thinking about this for a while now , but he was waiting for the right timing , hurrying so Renjun won’t start changing his mind as he is left so naked and exposed ,he leans over Renjun to kiss him before he has even climbed fully back on the bed, the younger has done exactly what he predicted and even as Doyoung strokes his face and looms over him, he is pulling his legs together and frowning uncomfortably, he was already nervous and he talked to Doyoung about not being confident with his body no matter how much he work out , even if he think he doesn't need to and his body good how is it, but Renjun has never liked being naked in front of other people, even Doyoung ,“You’re doing so good baby,” Doyoung whispers and peppers kisses all over Renjun's face.

Renjun start to relax quickly, though his cheeks tint pink in embarrassment, he doesn't know why but he feel safe when Doyoung call him baby, it makes him feel like he was in his home , with his family that he could trust to not hurt him, even though their relationship was different “I’m sorry I’m so … just ” he sighs as he can’t find the exact word for how he feels, but Doyoung only shushes him and strokes his cheek , Doyoung can understand how he feels without him having to say a word, and Renjun appreciates how Doyoung always knows when he wants to be pampered and comforted ,and this is the reason he has so much confidence in Doyoung to do this, he knows it will be good for both of them, and that the latter won't hurt him .

With Doyoung gently urging him on, he spreads his legs and raises his knees, leaving his lower body completely exposed to Doyoung , trying his best to hold their gaze, as opposed to his predictions, when Doyoung is right there in front of him, it is not discomfiting or scary, but rather exciting and very arousing , Doyoung looks him over with such an intent gaze, heavy-lidded eyes and mouth open a scant inch as he breathes heavily, lust written in the furrow of his brow and the twitch in the corner of his eye Doyoung pops open the cap on the small bottle , and squirts a fair amount of lube onto his fingers, spreading it around and warming it up while he strokes Renjun raised knee with his other hand ,running his palm repeatedly along the length of Renjun thigh, he sets the tip of his finger against his puckered asshole.

He looked at Renjun for confirmation and he smiles up at him with so much love and trust, Doyoung feels his heart burst in response ,pushing against the slight resistance of Renjun muscles, Doyoung slips his finger slowly inside him, keeping his eyes locked with Renjun the entire time, making sure he wasn't hurting him, or making him uncomfortable “Okay ? ” he asks breathlessly and Renjun nods his head and flutters his eyelashes a little as he breathes deep.

“It’s mostly … a bit odd , it doesn’t hurt ” Renjun breathed and he smiles at him ,Doyoung continued preparing him and Renjun holds his breath, mouth closed tight and eyes wide, before his body relaxes with a rush of air escaping his mouth , he was about to speak, but Doyoung curls his finger again and all the air is knocked out of his lungs, leaving him gaping as his body shudders.

“Good ? ” Doyoung asks, voice a little choked as the reflexive tightening of Renjun's muscles around his finger , is making him imagine in vivid detail how it will be when his cock is in its place , Renjun nodded desperately enable to speak , breathing in choppy gasps as he looks pleadingly up at Doyoung.

“Ah … ah … aga—again ” he gasps and moans when Doyoung curls his finger again and strokes a bit more insistently over his prostate, prolonging and intensifying the

sensation more than the soft brushes could , he rubs his fingers together a little, slick with lube, and then he places two against Renjun entrance.

“Just, try to relax okay ” he whispers and Renjun nods and takes a deep breath through his nose, letting it out slowly through his mouth as his eyes fall closed.

Carefully pushing his two fingers inside him, he watches Renjun's face as it contorts in pain, only a little at first, but escalating as his fingers slip further inside him, he strokes Renjun calf as he waits for any indication that he should stop, but Renjun is quiet until Doyoung’s fingers are fully inside him and then he opens his eyes.

“Can you ” he tries to say, breathing carefully around the pain clouding his mind “ like before …” his words are a muddled mess, but Doyoung can just about make them out and instead of responding verbally or comforting him, he curls his fingers and searches for Renjun's prostate, when he finds it, he keeps his fingers pressed against it and rubs in tiny back and forth motions, giving Renjun a little pleasure amongst the pain ,he kind of wishes he could do anything , if only so he wouldn’t have to see Renjun in pain like this ,as Renjun face relaxes, Doyoung experiments with moving his fingers, spreading them apart a little and moving them in and out, eventually doing both at the same time as he works on stretching Renjun .

He takes his time, probably longer than strictly necessary as Renjun has done nothing but moan and gasp for the last minute as Doyoung scissors his fingers inside him and

curls them against his prostate , before adding a third finger “I want you,” he breathes and Doyoung laughs a quiet , happy sound as he strokes Renjun's knee.

“Patience, I don’t want to hurt you,” he says, brow furrowing in concentration as he pushes his fingers an inch more inside Renjun , withdraws them and then pushes even further inside , he does this process until his fingers are fully inside and Renjun hole is stretched wide around the base of them ,he leans over Renjun and kisses him as he thrusts his fingers slowly inside him, building up speed as Renjun moans into his mouth and arches gently away from the bed.

“Please,” he gasps and moans loudly when Doyoung rubs hard over his prostate for a few seconds before pulling his fingers from his ass, sitting back on his haunches, Doyoung reaches for the box of condoms and chooses one, Doyoung holds the bottle of lube upside down over Renjun's hand, squeezing a large amount into his palm before placing the bottle carefully under a pillow , then he laces their fingers together, smearing the lube over both their hands, and wraps his slick fingers around Renjun's cock, they jerk each other for several slow seconds, kissing lazily with lips and tongues gliding together to the background music of their moans" Dongyoung ” Renjun breathes against his lips before pulling back to look at him , his eyes are still a little wet and his cheeks have a pink tint to them, and with his messy hair he looks like the most beautiful sin.

“ I love you ” he whispers into Renjun's mouth and tugs the younger’s hand away from his cock and twining their fingers together, palm to palm, he pushes them into the mattress on either side of Renjun's head" I love you I love you I love you ” he repeats on a breath when he steadies his cock against Renjun's hole and push experimentally against it until the head slips through, Renjun gasps loudly, arching a little away from the bed as the initial stretch burns a little, but Doyoung has stretched him further with his fingers and the pain fades quickly.

The physical sensation of having Doyoung’s cock inside him is different from his fingers, but the real contrast lies in how it makes him feel, they are connected in the most intimate way they can be, not just in body as Doyoung sinks further inside him second after second, but in heart and soul as their eyes meet and their fingers tangle and hold tight together spelling words of love out loud pales in comparison to feeling it in the way their eyes are glowing, brimming with it, a hundred times amplified by their physical connection.

Renjun didn't thought this could happen while he chasing his dreams in another country , he is in love with one of the greatest people he has ever meet ,and the latter love him back , he know it won't be easy for them , but hearing Doyoung saying that he love him make him dizzy to forget about anything in the world ,from the first touch of his cock against Renjun's entrance, Doyoung holds his breath, inching steadily forward and letting gravity slowly have its will, he covers Renjun with his own body as his cock settles fully inside him, tangling his fingers with Renjun again, he presses Renjun's hands into the mattress and holds himself up enough to look down into his face ,the feeling of the tight walls gripping his cock tightly is breathtaking, almost euphoria-inducing in its intoxicative newness, but the trust Renjun shows him as he allows himself to be completely taken over.

All the waiting and the awkwardness, the clumsy try and fail that has been their relationship since the day of their first kiss, has all amounted to this perfect moment this consummation of their inexperienced love, the realization of their world in one ecstatic notion of innocent delight , Doyoung doesn't want to be greedy knowing it won't be easy , but he with they could last as long as possible ,they're both young and have a long busy life a head of them , but if they hold hands and walked through the path together , he won't need anything else .

“It’s good, please ” he gasps, words intermittent with heavy exhales passing his red and raw lips, and Doyoung holds his breath and tightens his fingers around Renjun's as he

draws back and slides inside Renjun in a first, excruciatingly slow thrust.

He moans as the friction of Renjun's walls around his cock sends shortwaves throughout his body, leaving him tingling from his curled toes to his kiss-numbed lips “It’s so good ” he mumbles as he searches blindly for Renjun's lips “ you feel so good baby ” they kiss when Doyoung pulls his hips back a second time and moan equally loudly into each other’s mouths when he thrusts inside again.

Slow, deep thrusts turn fast and shallow as words fail them and they are left breathing heavily and moaning with their faces held close, mouths wanting to kiss but not quite getting it, all the while their hands grip tightly to each other, never letting go ,each thrust better than the last as Renjun clenches sporadically around Doyoung’s cock as it brushes over his prostate ,if only their bodies could be frozen in that moment, experiencing that pleasure in a never-ending loop, never tiring.

“Don’t leave me again ” he warns playfully and Doyoung laughs breathily against his ear " I want to be with you as much as it possible ".

“Never ever… you're stuck with me until you say enough ” he promises burying his face in the crook of Renjun's neck

In less than a minute, he is coming, filling the condom with his cum and moaning loudly as his hips stutter and Renjun clenches hard around him “Dongyoung” Renjun gasps desperately over and over until Doyoung gets his wits about him again and grips his cock in his palm “I’m so close” Renjun all but sobs as Doyoung jerks him fast, rubbing his thumb into his slit a couple times before he is finally pushed over the edge .

The memories of how Doyoung take care of him after , cleaning him carefully and helping him to drink some water , then he changed the dirty sheets as fast as possible and pulled him close and cuddled him close , telling that he love him so much until they fall sleep in each other arms , he wish Doyoung would hold him now like he hold him back then .

But he was just looking at him with a lot of thoughts on his mind " stop thinking and just ask " he said losing his patience , he hate this tension and they have been avoiding each other for almost two weeks now , which is more than enough .

It would be meaningless to ask if it was true now , so Doyoung decided to go with what really bothering " why you didn't tell me " .

" I didn't thought it's necessary " Renjun answer what he really felt , he know this would hurt the older more but this was the truth " before you jump to any conclusion , we

weren't in talking terms back then , and it would be wired if I came to you in the middle of our long fight and told you ' hey Hyung there's someone asked me out and I just

wanted you to know ' when I wouldn't even say hello to you if it’s not to make the others suspicious " Renjun said mockingly .

Doyoung didn't thought they would bring that stupid ugly fight again , but he can't blame the younger , he still feel guilty over the fight and the time they almost break up in

the beginning of the last year , it happened two month after Renjun birthday and Doyoung was willing to give up everything to turn back time and fix it .

The fight happened for no real reason but blow up badly ,Doyoung was tired from their world tour and he was barely in Korean , and Renjun was preparing for their station comeback with an foreigner singer , that Doyoung was and still jealous of him ,they both were stressed over work , Renjun was thinking about the unclear future of dream , and what will happen next year and he didn't want to talk with the members and worry them , and he can't talk to the Hyungs , even the ones he close to , some of them were busy in debuting again in WayV ,and the 127 members were busy practicing for their tour when they were in Korea , and he can't for sure talk about this in the phone .

While Doyoung was worried over a lot of things , their tour and the performances , and the members health of all the flying back and forth , he was worried over himself to make sure that he don't make any mistake ,and to memorize all the language he need to use , which make him stressed all the time ,and being away from each other with the time difference , which make contacting each other harder , they were barely talking once or twice a week , and even if they missed each other they didn't try to reach each other , Renjun didn't want to bother the latter while he was away , and Doyoung didn't want to burden the younger .

They didn't get to meet once Doyoung was in Korea since Renjun was busy practicing for their new song , he won't be that upset if he didn't he heard about that from Mark and Haechan , and what make it worse that Jaehyun said once after coming back from working out that he saw Renjun , and that he lost some weight .

So when he decided to go to the company the next day , knowing that the younger would be practicing from what he heard from Jeno , he went and he searched for him the

other members were practicing their dancing , while one of them was recording so they won't be bored while waiting , but Renjun wasn't there and he heard Chenle saying that

Jaemin was recording now .

He went out looking for him , he checked a few rooms , and he find him in one of the empty vocal room practicing , he waited until he was done to go and hug him , the younger was surprised but gave him a hug too, they sat in the floor talking trying to catch up " so how the song going ? "he asked eyeing the lyrics paper that was in the younger hands .

" fine Hrvy Hyung is so nice and cool " he said " it's better than I excepted " he added but Doyoung felt something was off.

" is everything else fine ? " he said holding his hands " you can tell me everything " he asked .

Renjun shake his head and smiled at him ,Doyoung smiled back but he know that he looked fake " what ? " Renjun asked .

" you would tell Winwin and Mark if they asked you what's wrong , but you still you won't tell me " Doyoung said and he know he sound childish , but he was hurt when Mark

said something was off with his boyfriend after visiting their dorm .

" if they can help yeah " Renjun answered honestly " and I don't really like to talk about my problems to anyone actually , " Renjun didn't mean it in a bad way , but Doyoung was

hurt already " don't make that face you too talk about your problems to Taeyoung Hyung or Gongmyung Hyung " .

" and I'm anyone to you though ? " he asked raising his voice a little and Renjun pulled his hands back " I just you to rely on me , and I don't want to tell you cause I don't want

you to worry " he said with a sigh .

" I didn't mean it like that " Renjun said frowning " look Hyung I don't want to fight you now , but if you want this relationship to succeed we need to be equal , and if you think I'm young why you're even dating me ? " he added .

" before we be equal you should be honest with me " Doyoung said loudly and he is lucky that the room was soundproof , cause they would need to explain to anyone hear this .

" you want me be honest ? "Renjun asked him annoyed and Doyoung nodded " ok I like you Hyung , but we're not close enough for me to tell you everything about my life " Doyoung was taken a back of what he was hearing , but Renjun continued "if I feel you should tell you I would tell you , don't treat me like you treat Haechan and Jeno cause I'm not them " .

Doyoung was hurt what Renjun said mean that he isn't comfortable with him yet , even though he know that they barely get to spend time together , but it's hurt to hear it like

this " and you're avoiding me won't fix anything " Doyoung knew he should be the older , and try to end this with the lease damage possible ,but his mouth was speaking

without thinking " even Jaehyun saw you before me " .

" what the hell this has to do with Jaehyun Hyung now ? " Renjun snapped angrily " I have never met him alone , and the longest we talk to each other is like three sentences ,

and most of them are greeting and being polite " Renjun don't what he was talking about , cause as far he know he and Jaehyun not that close .

" but he still see you in gym before me , while you still refused to meet me since I came back " Doyoung said annoyed .

" I'm busy … not like I planned meeting him there , you too supposed to rest " Renjun take a breath to calm himself " but maybe if you came to the gym and start building your

body like he do he won't see me before you " he said it on propose wanting to anger him .

" then why don't you date him if you don't like my body " Doyoung said and it was the cue for Renjun to get up , gathering his things , he didn't want to risk someone walking

on them like this " what are you doing ? I'm not done talking to you " Doyoung asked frowning .

" I don't have to listen to this bullshit " Renjun answered " go fix your mind like a decent person then we can talk , he said ready to open the door .

" you open that door and walk out and everything between us is over " Doyoung wanted to take his words back and apologize , but Renjun was faster to response .

" if you want break up I'm not going to beg you not to " he said and walked out " I deserve better after all " he said wanting to hurt the latter like he did to him , and without

looking back he closed the door .

Doyoung didn't register what happened , he came to meet his boyfriend who he missed so much , and he ended up breaking up with him , he ran after him trying to catch him

and talk , but Jeno told him that he was in the recording room ,which mean it would take him a time.

Renjun did his best to act like nothing happened , he kept practicing with the members and Hrvy for their song , he wanted to distract himself to not to think about the latter ,

at least when he isn't alone , and he can suffer when he alone .

It wasn't that hard with Doyoung not trying to talk to him after , and they didn't even saw each other , and if they did they don't acknowledge each other presence , even when

Doyoung have to travel again or the dream song was about to release , they didn't wish each other good luck .

Doyoung was having a hard time after listening to the song for the first time , normally he got to listen it before the release date , but this time he wasn't in the mood , knowing

that listening to Renjun voice would just make him miss him more , but when he did listen to it and he felt his eyes burning , he went to his room and locked himself there .

He was laying on his bed with his eyes close listening to the song through his earphone , thinking that every word directed to him

' You still think you're all that I need

(Ye ye ye) but I know we're fire and ocean

Yeah you ain't got nothing on me

I don't need your love

When he heard those words on Renjun voice he start thinking that the younger don't need him , and that he don't love him , he would try to convince himself that he was fine ,

and he isn't hurt , but he felt an ache in his chest but he didn't knew what he could do about it .

He was lucky he didn't get to do anything for a while . since dream were preparing for their comeback , and SuperM was about to debut he didn't get a lot of things to do , he

would spent most of his time practicing or trying to commutate with the fans , trying to ignore how the younger was acting like nothing happened .

Or this what he thought , Renjun wasn't doing better but maybe cause he was busy , it didn't show on him , but it was somewhere in his mind and today he was feeling bad ,

and he missed up a lot during practice , he's not like that usually that everyone was surprised , specially since their manager scold him , before taking him to record a radio .

He tried to do better the next days , and he put extra effort in their comeback stages ,since Haechan was absent sometimes , it start draining his body and energy , but he

didn't want to think about it now that they make their comeback after nine months , he want to show his best it could even be their last comeback .

They just finished their performance and were about to head home , when the manager told them to spilt in the two cars , he was walking in the back and didn't saw the other

car, the first one was already filled with their outfit and stuff , and he start looking around for the other car , but they all look the same and to make it worse he didn't bring his

umbrella with him and it's raining now .

He groaned not wanting to move or think , he could feel the water wetting his clothes , and he start shivering like a cat , when his phone start ringing he get it out and

answered , and thanks god it was a call telling him they moved cause they were blocking the way .

Doyoung was trying to sleep when he heard noises outside , even if it was in the middle of the day , he went out annoyed to find a concerned Mark and angry Taeyoung , they

look tired but why they were arguing in the living room ?

" what's going on ? " Johnny came out asking , and Taeyoung throw his phone at him " Shit ~ is this Renjun for real ? " he asked surprised " what's going on ? " Doyoung just

heard Renjun name and rushed to steal the phone of his hand " hey " Johnny called him but he was staring at the screen .

There was picture's of the younger standing in the rain without umbrella , looking lost and scared and their fans were trending hashtag asking their company to treat their

members better , he scrolled through the pictures and the post frowning " what the hell is this ? " he asked angrily .

" I don't know they still at the company " Taeyoung rubbed his forehead tired " I texted Haechan and he said he would tell us once he here " he explained " which was like before

two hours " he added annoyed , it was already dark and Doyoung was about to comment when the door opened and Haechan came in .

" thanks god you're finally here to tell us what happened" Mark said ready to heading to the door " are the other members in their dorm too ? " .

" calm down ex – leader the manager didn't even let me stay there , and I'm sure he won't be happy to see you either " Haechan said " if you want to know what happened just

set down " and Mark has no other choice .

Haechan told them what happened and how they went to put their outfits in the company after , and that they've been in the dorm for a while now , and the manager thought it

would be better if they explained it later or something , and he didn't forget to add that Renjun was feeling bad and they were trying to cheer him , but manager sent him since

they needed to rest cause they were going to continue promoting .

Doyoung thought all this is ridiculous and he wanted to go and check on the kids ,they all must be scared and all , not caring about anything or anyone , but Taeyoung stopped

him knowing if he did Mark and Haechan would follow and then it would be a miss cause they didn't listen .

Doyoung thought about texting or calling the younger , but he felt it would he wired to suddenly call in such situation , he doesn't want to their first talk after a while to be

through the phone .

But it took him long to be able to see him , he was coming back from a short walk with Johnny and Yuta , it was night and they spotted Renjun entering their building , he must

have came back from his radio recording , Johnny called him but he didn't answer , they went in and walked toward the stairs since the elevator wasn't working , they spotted

him in the third floor and were surprised that he was still there .

Doyoung shushed them to not surprise him and startle him , but they were the ones who startled when Renjun was falling back , but thanks god Yuta was fast to catch him "

hey kiddo are you alright ? " he asked and Renjun closed his eyes " no that not nice don't do that on me ! Doyoung what should we do " .

Doyoung wanted to say something but his voice died , but thanks god Johnny was there " let's take him up first and tell the manager " Yuta carried him to the dream dorm , and

it was until Jisung yelled that Doyoung got his sense back , and bringing Jaemin and Jeno from their room .

" Jeno can you take Jisung to his room ?" he asked and the latter dragged him away " Jaemin could you help us put him on his bed " Jaemin walked to Renjun room and opened the door " Yuta Hyung come on ,Johnny Hyung call the manger " .

Renjun lay still once Yuta let him " I think he has a fever " Yuta holding Renjun hand , said and Doyoung hand was on his forehead immediately .

Doyoung called feel the heat on his palm and he frown , then Johnny came back " manager Hyung said that he was in his way to buy him medicine , and he would go get the doctor now " he explained running his hand through his hair " he's lucky we were on time " he said and Yuta glared at him pointing at Jaemin .

" is he sick ? " Doyoung asked the younger who was trying to wake Renjun .

" I guess his throat was sore the past couple days , and he had headache in the morning " he answered " what happened exactly ? " he asked worried .

" we just saw him and he looked tired , so we just helped him " Yuta answered and it was obvious that the younger didn't believe , but he said nothing when Jeno and Jisung

came in the room .

" Jaemin could you bring a bowl of water and clean towels ? I should do something until the doctor come " Doyoung said and Jaemin nodded , he went and came back quickly

and Doyoung put wet towel on his forehead , and start wiping his neck and hands until the younger hissed .

" Renjun Hyung ! " Jisung came closer with teary eyes " Hyung are you alright ? " he asked and Jaemin pulled him back .

Renjun slowly tried to open his eyes and groaned , he felt a terrible headache and he can hear Jisung and Jaemin arguing and other sounds " J- Jisung I'm fine " he said in a weak

voice trying to open his eyes again .

He blinked a few times trying to figure who was in the room , Yuta and Johnny Hyung , Jeno , Jaemin , Jisung ,and the one who was wiping his body , Kim Dongyoung " what

happened ?" he asked after a few minutes , he can hear them talking but he can't get what they were saying .

" you fainted and the Hyungs brought you back " Jeno said " you should rested if you weren't feeling good " he said worried .

Renjun can't remember anything after he asked the manager to buy him medicine , and he was feeling sorry for making everyone worried now , but he felt his mouth dry and

start coughing loudly , causing panic in the room and he could feel someone start rubbing his back .

He calmed back and accepted the glass of water that Jaemin must went to get with shaking hands , and he felt someone helping him to set and taking it from him ,and he didn't

try to look knowing who he is , he drink a little and felt his throat burning , so he pushed the glass away not wanting to talk , he should really listen when they told him to rest

more .

He lied down and felt his eyes getting heavier and he closed them , he can hear a few sounds but his mind was tired and he fall sleep ,with Doyoung playing with his hair .

Doyoung stayed in the dream dorm even after the doctor left ,while Yuta and Johnny went to their dorm without commenting knowing that they shouldn't let the younger ones alone , he still by his side changing the water making sure that his temperature go down , he always do this when one of the members are sick , but taking care of Renjun after being far away make his heart hurt .

Renjun wake up feeling someone holding his hand , he barely remember last night and he blinked a few times to make sure that he was seeing right , it's Doyoung who was

laying on the side of his bed , he checked the hour and it was ten in the morning , he put his hand on his forehead feeling his skin still hot , and his head was till hurt .

He lay back with a groan causing the older to stir , he blink a few times and his eyes widened when he look at Renjun " thanks god you're awake " he said and went to check his

temperature , he frowned when he could still feel the heat under his hand " you should eat something , so you have your medicine " he said getting up taking up the water bowl

and the towels with him " call me if you need anything " .

Renjun checked his phone and texted his family while waiting for the older , when Jeno , Jaemin and Jisung came to the room , they were looking worried and he told them that

he's feeling better , Doyoung came back after almost a hour with a tray of soup , he sat next him with the tray in his lap , and helped him to set Renjun wanted to take the

spoon but Doyoung didn't let him and put a full spoon in front of mouth after blowing on it .

He tried to resist and asked the others for help , but they just shrugged and told him to listen to his Hyung if he wanted to get better , he opened his mouth and finished half of

the bowl , and refused to eat more Doyoung sighed and gave him his medicine and a glass of water and told him to rest , and to call him if he needed anything .

The next time he woke up he was feeling better and his head didn't feel heavy , but he felt dirty with his clothes sticking to his body , he must have sweated all the night and he felt gross , he needed to take a bath he get up and went to his closet and take a clean clothes and went out , the dorm was strangely quiet he didn't thought much and went to the bathroom .

When he was done he went to his room feeling fresh , he still didn't dry his hair and has a towel his neck , he opened his room and saw Doyoung changing his sheets , the later

looked at him saying nothing for a few seconds , then he told him that he should waited for him or someone , so he won't be alone if something happened but Renjun glared

saying that he can take a bath alone ,he sat in the new made bed drying his hair and asked " where are everyone ? " .

Doyoung sat behind him and take the towel from him drying his hair gently " I sent them upstairs they were loud and Haechan was bothering me saying he want to come " he

said and Renjun just let him " how are you feeling ? do you need anything ? " he asked worried .

Renjun shake his head not trusting himself to talk , he suddenly was getting emotional , he let Doyoung finish drying his hair and get up walking out to the living room ,

Doyoung followed him saying that he should eat so he can have his medicine , since he still has a fever Renjun said that he's not hungry yet .

They sat in the living room and Renjun turned the TV on , half hour passed and he looked at the elder checking him ,and he was surprised that he was staring at him too , he

blinked and looked away shyly , and was thankful that the latter say nothing " Hyung ? " he said while still looking down this time .

" yes ? " Doyoung answered him softly .

" thank you " he looked at him and said " you didn't have to take care of me " he said in a low voice .

" you don't have to thank me , I always do that when someone sick " Renjun nodded looking away , he know that Doyoung was like the mother no matter how much he heard

Haechan complain about his nagging , he know that he loved it inside " beside I couldn't left you when I saw you falling in Yuta Hyung hands , the time stopped around me , I

was so worried that something happened to you " he said leaning close to the younger who looked at him .

Renjun heart was beating fast when he hugged the older " I hate being sick " he said while Doyoung pulled him closer , sniffing his hair and kissing the crown of his head " do

you still want break up ? " he asked scared when they pulled back .

" I never wanted in the first … I didn't what got in me " Doyoung didn't want to talk about it " I'm sorry " he find himself saying .

" I'm sorry too " Renjun responded " I shouldn't snapped at you like that without listening to you " he added feeling guilty .

"and I shouldn't said those thing I didn't mean any of them … I just was angry an didn't know what I was saying " he said and they looked at each other .

" then let's just be honest from each other from now on , and promise to tell each other if something was wrong " Renjun said after thinking for a while .

" and promise to understand each other more cause both of us stubborn " Doyoung said with a smile and Renjun hit him playfully .

" you're the childish one " he said crossing his arms .

"and you're the cute one " he said and leaned to kiss him , but it didn't last cause Renjun pushed him away .

" are you insane ? do you want to get sick too ? " he asked and Doyoung hugged him even though he was struggling .

" I just missed you so much " Doyoung said and Renjun relaxed in his arms " so much " he said pulling him tighter if it was possible , until he heard him yawn he pulled back " you still need to rest " .

" I don't want to go to my room and lay down " he complained " I'll watch some TV and sleep here , you don't need to watch me " .

Doyoung then pulled him toward him so he can rest his head on his shoulder " then let's watch together " Renjun fall sleep after a few minutes and Doyoung covered him with a blanket and kept checking his temperature once in a while , he doesn't know how long passed since the door opened and the other members came in .

" see I told you he won't stay in his room , he's my friend and I know him , I'm sure he gave Doyoung Hyung hard time , but I don't feel bad for him " Haechan said and Doyoung

throw a pillow at him , while Taeyoung scolded him for not being quiet , and walked toward them checking Renjun temperature " he still has a fever " he said frowning and

Renjun moved start waking up .

" what time is now ? " he asked starching and looking at the full room , then at Doyoung noticing that he was almost sleeping in his lap " I didn't realize I fall sleep " he said

shyly .

" it's time for you to eat and take you medicine " Doyoung said getting up to go the kitchen " you're still sick and need to rest " Taeyoung nodded setting next him .

" I'm feeling better now no need to exaggerate " he said and it was like their latest conversation didn't happen when there is people around, they need to act awkward and not

close " you're welcome here but please don’t tell me that everyone is here to see me ? " he asked looking at all 127 members except Jungwoo and Sicheng , with Jeno Jaemin and

Jisung .

They just smiled at him and he shake his head ,and ate some of the soup but he didn’t let him feed him like before , not with Haechan here or he won’t let him live , then they

were about to left so he could sleep , and Doyoung left after he thanked him awkwardly .

*********************************************

And now they were setting in the same position , with the only different that they were in Gongmyung apartment instead of the dorm " so what you wanted to tell me ? " Doyoung asked wanted to finish it .

" there is nothing to tell actually" Renjun said and take a deep breath before looking at Doyoung " you know Jun Hyung and I kinda close , I was surprised when he confessed I

wasn't seeing it coming , but even though we weren't together back then my feelings were the same ,and I doubted I could see him differently , so I just rejected him and he

asked me to stay friend and I didn't find any reason for not to ".

" and why you didn't tell me when we got back together ? " asked Doyoung carefully .

" look it's not that I didn't want to tell you or wanted to hide it from you , but our fight back then was big enough to break up , and if I told you that after we got together we

just would fought again , and I didn't want that " Renjun paused playing with his fingers " I planned to tell you latter , but I forgot that even happen , Jun Hyung didn't bring it

again and I didn't thought of it , we both were busy to even meet " Renjun said all what he had and he had nothing to say , he was just waiting for Doyoung response who remain silent for a few minutes , he start feeling worried but he tried his best to not show it .

" I'm sorry " was the first thing he hear from the older , and he was kind of surprised a little " can I hug you ? " he asked hesitantly and Renjun didn't need to think twice before

throwing his arms around the elder neck , who pulled him as close as possible " I love you so much " he whispered in Renjun ear.

" then let's stop fight please " Renjun said pulling back " I really hate fighting specially if we could avoid it with just setting and talk " he pulled back .

" I'll try my best " Doyoung promised cupping Renjun cheek " it's just we both stubborn and never back off our words , we need on working on our similarities and differences " .

" and our communication too , we need to think and then talk to each other about what bothering us no matter what " Renjun said and leaned to kiss Doyoung cheek " and I

love you too" he added with a smile .

Doyoung smiled back and pulled him in a longing kiss , they kiss sweetly and soft wanting to savor the taste of each other , Renjun was stroking Doyoung hair while kissing him

, and the older hand one his waist and the other on his nape , he opened his mouth letting their tongues meet together , and pulled back when he felt Doyoung hand under his

shirt .

" something wrong ? " Doyoung asked trying to catch his breath .

" we can't do anything … I mean I can't stay here for long " Renjun explained looking at his phone to check the hour " I can stay for more two hours at most " Renjun said feeling

sorry , but he need to go to his radio recording , and if they did anything he would drain his energy and he might even fall sleep .

" oh ? it's ok just promise me to meet latter then when you have nothing to do " he said pecking his lip " I want to have you all for my self " he said d pulling the younger toward

him , Renjun rested his head in Doyoung shoulder and hugged his side too .

A few minutes passed when Renjun phone vibrated , he took it out to find a notification from the Weibo , he opened the app and find a reply from Jun for his birthday wish ,

Renjun wrote something while Doyoung watching , then he put anything away knowing that the older didn't understand , but he might assumed from the stickers .

" what now ? " he asked when Doyoung kept glaring at his phone , he asked holding the later face to look at him .

" nothing " Doyoung answered and Renjun give him ' I don't believe you look ' " just can't you be friend with normal people ,who aren't handsome and make me jealous ? " he

explained .

" I can't help that I'm great person and everyone want to be my friend " Renjun said grinning .

" I know , I know " Doyoung groaned burying his head in Renjun neck , and the younger start laughing .

**Author's Note:**

> didn't except it to be this long , but I thought I should add all this details , would like to know your opinion through comments !


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